Aerona took Lauren's empty bowl. "But your problems are problems to you. And problems left unresolved will fester into bigger ones."
"I'd prefer to just pretend they don't exist. It's what I've been doing with my ex."
"Your ex?"
"My ex...lover," Lauren said, not sure if Aerona would get the concept of a boyfriend. Somehow, talking about him with Aerona didn't elicit the kind of anxiety-ridden reaction that it normally did. Perhaps because he was a world away. "We were together a very long time."
"And why is he your ex-lover? Did he die?"
Lauren remembered that Aerona's husband died fighting the Anghenfil and felt stupid for even bringing it up. That was real pain, death was final. Josh could still come back—
"No, he didn't die," Lauren said, quickly to avoid finishing that thought. "He just...didn't want to get married. No big deal. I'm mostly over it anyways."
Aerona's eyebrows went up in suspicion.
"Seriously." Lauren waved her off. "It was amicable, we're still...kind of friends. No worries. Besides, I'm here in this world, so it's not like I can do anything about it anyways!" She finished with a toothy grin and hoped Aerona would buy it and not ask any more questions.
"And you don't think you'll ever return home?" Aerona asked, as Eddy and Mairwan left the table and jumped in their bed. "To him?"
The idea of returning home and not being with Josh was more painful than the idea of never going home. Being in this other world was a convenient excuse to not have to come to terms with their new, separated reality. But Aerona was close to dragging it back to the forefront.
"I...uh..." Lauren said, mask slipping a little bit. "You know what? I think I left something at Siors earlier today. I'll be back in a jiffy."
Before Aerona could stop her, Lauren hightailed it out the door.
~*~
When I think about why I was never comfortable with expressing just how far into the darkness I'd sunk after the breakup, I think part of it (besides the fear), was that I never thought it was that big of a deal. Or rather, I always compared it to something much more "difficult" like a divorce or death, and forced myself to admit my problems came up short.
The problem with this comparison strategy is that it basically says that I can't feel anything negative.
I used to think it was unhealthy to have any negative feelings. Now I have come to accept that it's actually much healthier to feel those feelings and understand where they're coming from in order to move past them.
So if I get overly pissed off because my iPad is running slow, it's not because the iPad is frustrating me, it's because my blood sugar is low and I need to eat.
Or if some guy really breaks my heart, it's because I really liked him, and I allowed myself to get excited for a minute.
As with this entire book, reading these scenes where Lauren is saying almost verbatim the things that I used to say, it's kind of embarrassing to see how unhinged I was while trying to keep it together. But then again, that's why I wrote this book in the first place. It's a reminder of how far I've come.
~~~
Lauren Dailey is in break-up hell.
Stuck between moving on and letting go, she puts on a brave face while crying herself to sleep at night. But when a mysterious voice promises escape from her sadness, she is suddenly transported to a new world. And in this place, the slightest touch pulls her out of her tortured emotions into the mind of another - an empath.
The villagers - sweet Aerona and her mischievous twins, wise Siors, and hunky Cefin - welcome her and the blessings her empath powers bring. But this world is not without its dangers. The Anghenfil, a fire-breathing monster, has haunted the village for decades, and has a taste for empaths. And that mysterious voice promising escape from sadness? It's sounding more like a whisper tinged with smoke and embers.
Preorder today on the below stores. Available May 15th.
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