"Well, m'lady," he said, following her into the tavern. It was filled almost over capacity with people, elbow-to-elbow around old wooden tables with sudsy beers in their hands. When the first person spotted Lauren in the entryway, he cheered, and was joined by the rest of the group. A glass was thrust into Lauren's hand, followed by a hearty slap on the back.
Elation.
Happiness.
Relief.
Emotions came to and fro as she was manhandled in the tavern, everyone wishing to shake her hand and personally thank her for saving the village. Cefin kicked away the first two people, but Lauren waved him off, now almost used to the jolting feeling of being in someone else's head after healing others all day. Besides, everyone was so happy that it left her feeling happy, even when the last person had shaken her hand.
She finally sat down at the table, her third beer in her hand. She didn't feel drunk, but most of her first two had ended up on the floor instead of in her stomach, so it was probably just as well. She took a long swig—it was warm and tasted like urine— but it was beer and she let out a happy sigh.
"What?" Cefin asked, wiping away the suds on his upper lip.
"Just happy. Glad I'm finally useful for something."
"You've been useful," Cefin said with a handsome smile. "You were useful entertainment when I set you to doing the laundry."
"Hah!" Lauren barked, swallowing another gulp.
"You've got a gift, you know," Cefin said, piercing her with his handsome eyes. "You saved a lot of lives today."
Lauren picked up the amulet around her neck and looked at it. It was the only thing she had on her from her old world—
Her old world.
She'd thought it so casually, like living in the old world was a dream. Her mom and dad were just figments of her imagination, Josh was just a fantasy she'd concocted. It was just as well; she wasn't going home.
She took another sip of her beer and smiled as another man came to thank her for saving his child's life, but somehow she couldn't bring herself back up where she'd been before. Something dark had settled in her chest, and she was struggling to get rid of it, even in this boisterous tavern. Everyone had seemed to forget about her now, choosing to celebrate in their own happiness. Lauren didn't begrudge them for this, but she couldn't ignore the growing loneliness in her chest. She felt like all of the happiness she'd experienced today had gone cold, like a cup of coffee out too long.
~*~
This scene, like another in the first chapter, is so vivid for me. I can't tell you how many times I'd be out with friends, enjoying myself like a normal person, and suddenly, without warning, darkness settled. And all I wanted to do was go home and cry.
When I think about it, the reason for it (besides brain chemicals) was because I wasn't actually dealing with the problem. I was filling my life with the things that I thought would solve it - being active, going out, doing good things for others. Lauren was avoiding dealing with her sadness by saving others - something I talked about in an earlier blog post.
The tyllwyllwch in the book - the dark mist - was directly inspired by this depressed feeling, whereas the Anghenfil represents my anxiety. I have found that I am able to handle my depression easier than my anxiety, and my method of choice is through writing. I haven't had a "down spell" (as I call them) since I started writing through my problems. When I do feel a little upset or down, I break open a blank journal page and write it out until I figure out what's buried and bothering me. I'm no longer afraid to be sad or upset, and that has made a huge difference in my life.
Side Note: most of the words in the book - Anghenfil, tyllwyllwch, even the names of Cefin, Mairwan, Aerona, Siors - they're all Welsh. I was oh so clever - I looked up how to say the word "monster" in every language, and Welsh came back with the one that seemed the most interesting. And tyllwyllwch even means "darkness" in Welsh. So yeah. Teaser.
~~~
Lauren Dailey is in break-up hell.
Stuck between moving on and letting go, she puts on a brave face while crying herself to sleep at night. But when a mysterious voice promises escape from her sadness, she is suddenly transported to a new world. And in this place, the slightest touch pulls her out of her tortured emotions into the mind of another - an empath.
The villagers - sweet Aerona and her mischievous twins, wise Siors, and hunky Cefin - welcome her and the blessings her empath powers bring. But this world is not without its dangers. The Anghenfil, a fire-breathing monster, has haunted the village for decades, and has a taste for empaths. And that mysterious voice promising escape from sadness? It's sounding more like a whisper tinged with smoke and embers.
Preorder today on the below stores. Available May 15th.
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