Each week, I'm going to suck it up and write about the things that scare me shitless. And hopefully, through writing, I can come to terms and move past them.
Last week, I wrote about my fear of rejection. For my final blog in the series...
Fear #7: I am afraid of fear
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
About a year ago, I wrote a blog post about the fear of the unknown. A control freak by nature (What? CEO of a company?), I hate the idea of not knowing where things are going. I don't like being in limbo, and I hate not having a plan.
But what scares me even more is having a plan, and then coming face to face with executing it.
I recently completed a cross-country move, after selling my house and everything I own. I spent the past four month in limbo, having this plan that I was finally executing. And as I stared down the execution of that plan that I had thought carefully about....I was--am--petrified.
At the end of Empath, Lauren learns that fear is just an idea. The Anghenfil only has power when she allows it to, and when she firmly grounds herself in the knowledge that she is more powerful than it is, she can (spoiler alert) defeat it.
And so when it comes to the real life fears that have been plaguing me - fear of no money, missing out, intimacy, rejection, death, being alone - these are simply ideas and they can't hurt me. For as much power as I've given these fears, I can also take it away.
The fear of money is unfounded because I can just get another job. But I know that I can make it in this business based on my plan. The plan is solid (if not overly optimistic) and can be adjusted as needed.
The fear of missing out is unfounded because I can have my own life on my own timetable and when it happens is out of my control. The only thing I can do is to ensure that I am in the place where I want to be with the people I love.
The fear of death is--again--out of my control. And I can just continue working and writing and living the life that I love until such point when it happens, and then I will have zero regrets.
The fear of rejection is unfounded and dangerous. If I continue to believe that people will reject me before I give them a chance to, then I will miss out on a beautiful life of deep, fulfilling relationships.
People will reject me when I show them my true self (fear of intimacy), but not everyone will. And those who don't will enrich my life more than I thought possible, which will prevent me from being alone.
These fears that I have been living with for so long have been the only light in my life and I've been following them blindly without questioning why. And I found myself in a life that I didn't even want and wasn't very good for me.
But questioning these fears is as terrifying as facing the Anghenfil. But just because you fear something doesn't make it wrong. Just because you are anxious and frightened and unable to breathe doesn't mean that after the scary thing is over, you'll be perfectly fine on the other side.
And so with the book released tomorrow, I implore you to take a look at your own life and your own fears. Are the things you are afraid of dictating the decisions you make? Or are you plotting your life based on what you want out of it?
I am still afraid. Hell, this morning, I had a small panic attack when I imagined life without a steady paycheck. It's easier to stay still and not trigger the pain, but life is infinitely less fulfilling. But I'm no longer letting fear rule my decisions, which is the first step.
I'm not yet to a point where I have my anxieties under control, but that's okay. Life isn't about happily ever afters. Life is about being present in the moment, getting all you want out of it, and taking each moment as it comes.
Thanks for going on this journey with me these past seven weeks. For those of you who've picked up the book, thank you for going on that journey with me, too.
But I think I'm not alone when I say that I AM SO GLAD THAT THIS BOOK IS OUT OF MY HANDS!
NO MORE DEPRESSING FEAR POSTS!
NO MORE RELIVING MY TERRIBLE BREAKUP!
ALL BEACH! ALL THE TIME!
~~~
Lauren Dailey is in break-up hell.
Stuck between moving on and letting go, she puts on a brave face while crying herself to sleep at night. But when a mysterious voice promises escape from her sadness, she is suddenly transported to a new world. And in this place, the slightest touch pulls her out of her tortured emotions into the mind of another - an empath.
The villagers - sweet Aerona and her mischievous twins, wise Siors, and hunky Cefin - welcome her and the blessings her empath powers bring. But this world is not without its dangers. The Anghenfil, a fire-breathing monster, has haunted the village for decades, and has a taste for empaths. And that mysterious voice promising escape from sadness? It's sounding more like a whisper tinged with smoke and embers.
Preorder today on the below stores. Available May 15th.
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