S. Usher Evans: Fear of Sex

As we build up to the release of Empath, my brand new contemporary fantasy novel, I wanted to use the #MondayBlog posts to talk about some terrifying things. Not monsters or dragons, but the actual fears that I live with every day.

Each week, I'm going to suck it up and write about the things that scare me shitless. And hopefully, through writing, I can come to terms and move past them.

Last week, I was talking about my fear of being left out. For today's blog...

Fear #3: Fear of Sex

Got your attention, didn't I?

Let me just say, when it comes to sex, I am more Liz Lemon than EL James. It's great and fun and all that, but it's not what motivates me every day.

However, there is S-E-X in Empath.

Because of reasons that have more to do with plot pacing and the actual sex itself, it's a fade-to-black sex. ~~So actually, it's not really as nerve-wracking as in, say....Conviction where it's more graphic (you're welcome).~~

To quote Lizbeth Carter, "Sex is a beautiful thing." I don't think it's weird or bad or terrible, but I do consider sex to be a private act between two people (or three, no judgements). It's not the nudity that scares me, or the actual act of sex or anything like that.

It's the emotional vulnerability that you and another person are the objects of each others' attentions and there's no distractions and no place to hide.

Really, then, what I'm afraid of is intimacy. That really scary moment when all of the not-perfect parts of yourself are on display for someone else to see. When you have to share things about yourself that you aren't very proud of, or ones you aren't sure of. And rejection of those things is terrifying to me.

Going back to the idea of writing about sex, I decided to fade to black in Empath because of plot, as I said above, mostly because the sex in Empath isn't very interesting, and that's the point. Cefin's not some romance-novel-stud-muffin, but Lord knows that Lauren does a good job of making him one.

In Conviction, the sex is graphic (ish), but that's because there's a point to it, and-spoiler alert-Lyssa spends the whole time telling the other half of the couple (won't say who it is ;)) to shut up because she doesn't want to be reminded of whom she is sleeping with.

But in Book 4, that is when she finally has the kind of intimate sex that is so Goddamned Terrifying to me. And yes, I am really really really really really scared to write it. But I don't have to worry about that until the fall.

Damn it, now I'm avoiding again...

~~~

Lauren Dailey is in break-up hell.

Stuck between moving on and letting go, she puts on a brave face while crying herself to sleep at night. But when a mysterious voice promises escape from her sadness, she is suddenly transported to a new world. And in this place, the slightest touch pulls her out of her tortured emotions into the mind of another - an empath.

The villagers - sweet Aerona and her mischievous twins, wise Siors, and hunky Cefin - welcome her and the blessings her empath powers bring. But this world is not without its dangers. The Anghenfil, a fire-breathing monster, has haunted the village for decades, and has a taste for empaths. And that mysterious voice promising escape from sadness? It's sounding more like a whisper tinged with smoke and embers.